
TRACES VOICES OF THE SECOND GENERATION
Traces:Voices of the Second Generation
1/27/2023 | 56m 47sVideo has Closed Captions
Explore the generational effects and challenges of second generation Holocaust survivors.
Traces:Voices of the Second Generation, gives voice to the resilient Second Gen children of Holocaust survivors as they share their parents survival stories and reveal the inherited effects of Holocaust survivorship. This documentary film brings to light the Holocausts generational effects and challenges us to speak up to make certain hatred has no place in our world.
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TRACES VOICES OF THE SECOND GENERATION is a local public television program presented by Jax PBS
TRACES VOICES OF THE SECOND GENERATION
Traces:Voices of the Second Generation
1/27/2023 | 56m 47sVideo has Closed Captions
Traces:Voices of the Second Generation, gives voice to the resilient Second Gen children of Holocaust survivors as they share their parents survival stories and reveal the inherited effects of Holocaust survivorship. This documentary film brings to light the Holocausts generational effects and challenges us to speak up to make certain hatred has no place in our world.
Problems with Closed Captions? Closed Captioning Feedback
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TRACES VOICES OF THE SECOND GENERATION is available to stream on pbs.org and the free PBS App, available on iPhone, Apple TV, Android TV, Android smartphones, Amazon Fire TV, Amazon Fire Tablet, Roku, Samsung Smart TV, and Vizio.
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Learn Moreabout PBS online sponsorshipI DEFINE HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR AS SOMEONE WHO LIVED THROUGH WORLD WAR TWO AND MADE IT OUT ALIVE.
SO FIRST GENERATION NOT SOMEONE LIKE ME BUT MY PARENTS WHO WERE ABLE TO SURVIVE.
SHE ALMOST FELT LIKE GUILTY CALLING HERSELF A SURVIVOR.
BUT SHE WENT THROUGH.
WHEN I THINK OF A SURVIVOR HER I TEND TO FOLLOW THE DEFINITION THAT WAS DEVELOPED BY THE CONFERENCE THAT DEALT WITH REPARATIONS.
SO IT'S EITHER SOMEBODY WHO WAS IN A CAMP, A LABOR CAMP OR A CONCENTRATION CAMP AND SURVIVED OR SOMEBODY WHO WAS FORCED TO FLEE FROM THEIR HOMELAND TO AVOID PERSECUTION BY THE NAZIS OR OTHER REGIMES OR SOMEBODY WHO HID OUT DURING THE COURSE OF THE WAR IN THE HOLOCAUST AND MANAGED TO SURVIVE PAST THE END OF IT.
ALL OF THE JEWS THAT LIVED IN EUROPE THAT HAD TO SURVIVE THIS HORRIBLE, HORRIFIC GENOCIDE DIED.
EVEN IF THEY WERE SENT OUT OF THE COUNTRY AND THEY WERE SAFE, IT DIDN'T MATTER.
THEY ALL HAD THE FEAR THAT WAS GOING ON.
THEY WERE ALL SURVIVORS.
THE TRUE SURVIVORS ARE THOSE WHO NOT ONLY SURVIVED THE CAMPS BUT WERE ABLE TO START A NEW LIFE AND GIVE LIFE TO A NEW GENERATION >> SUCH AS US.
I THINK ALL OF US FEEL VERY STRONGLY ABOUT LETTING THE NEXT GENERATION KNOW .
>> MY FATHER >> SPOKE VERY LITTLE ABOUT HIS HOLOCAUST EXPERIENCE.
I KNEW HE HAD LOST A WIFE AND FOUR CHILDREN BUT THAT WAS ABOUT IT AS FAR AS THAT FAMILY WAS CONCERNED.
ALL I KNOW IS MY FATHER WAS ONE OF SEVEN BROTHERS >> AND MY MOTHER WAS ONE OF FOUR.
NO ONE SURVIVED, NO COUSINS, NO UNCLES OF THEIR OWN.
WE TRIED MY PARENTS TRIED.
THEY NEVER COULD TRACE ANYBODY.
I THINK >> THAT A SECOND GEN HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR SHARES MANY THINGS WITH OTHER SECOND GEN. NOT THE LEAST OF WHICH IS THAT WE HAVE AN INSATIABLE NEED TO SOMEHOW COMPENSATE OUR OUR PARENT.
WE WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING UP TO THEM.
I WOULD ALSO SAY THAT WHAT MARKS MOST OF OUR EXPERIENCE I CAN'T SAY ALL IS THAT FOR AS MUCH AS OUR PARENTS WANTED TO SPARE US THEIR HORROR THEY WANTED US TO KNOW.
>> AND THAT SENT A CONFLICTED MESSAGE.
IN 2008 MY SON BILL AND I TOOK A TRIP TO WASHINGTON D.C.
THERE WERE SEVERAL PLACES WE WANTED TO SEE THE HOLOCAUST MUSEUM WAS FIRST BILL WAS EAGER TO SEE THE EXHIBITS BEARING WITNESS TO THE HORRORS HIS GRANDPARENTS HAD ENDURED.
A LIFETIME OF STORIES PASSED DOWN BY MY PARENTS PROVIDED NO EMOTIONAL BUFFER FOR EITHER OF US.
WE ENTERED FROM THE NOISY STREET INTO A FUNERAL HUSH THAT PERVADED THE MUSEUM.
I REMEMBER US WALKING INTO AN AUTHENTIC BOXCAR USED FOR TRANSPORTING JEWS TO THE CAMP ITS CLEAN INTERIOR AND BRIGHT DISPLAY LIGHTING MASKED THE HORROR THAT TOOK PLACE WITHIN THIS SPACE.
I CONJURED UP AN IMAGE OF MY MOTHER FORCIBLY SQUEEZING PAST OTHER PRISONERS, SHAKING THE BOXCAR CORNER WITH VENTILATION LOUVERS ON ITS UPPER WALL.
THIS CORNER POSITION SHE HAD TOLD ME WHEN I WAS STILL A CHILD PROVIDED THE BEST SUPPORT FOR A SLUMPING BODY AND IT ALSO YIELDED THE MOST SNOW.
I THOUGHT OF A MOM WITH EMACIATED FINGERS GRASPING THROUGH THE BOARDS FOR A BIT OF SNOW TO PUT TO HER NUMB BLUE MOUTH.
I LINGERED A MOMENT UNMINDFUL OF OTHERS UNTIL BILL TUGGED GENTLY AT MY SHIRT SLEEVE SUGGESTING IT WAS TIME TO MOVE ALONG.
WE LEFT THE MUSEUM SADDENED AND PENSIVE BUT INSPIRED TO LEARN MORE.
ONE EVENING AFTER >> A VISIT TO THE MUSEUM I SAT DOWN AT MY COMPUTER AND STARTED SCROLLING THROUGH HOLOCAUST ARCHIVES.
IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG TO SCROLL UPON A LARGE IMAGE OF A MAN SEATED AT HIS WORKBENCH CRAFTING A SHOE.
HIS EXPRESSION WAS HUMBLE.
MY EYES WELLED UP AS I THOUGHT ABOUT THE BRUTAL PROCESS THAT PRODUCED SUCH HUMILITY.
THIS WAS MY FATHER THEN BORN PLYING THE TRADE HE HAD LEARNED AS A YOUNG BOY IN HIS COUSIN'S SHOE FACTORY.
>> OUR LIVES >> THE SECOND GENERATION WAS SO MUCH AFFECTED BY OUR PARENTS THAT IT'S REALLY SOMETIMES HARD >> TO DESCRIBE.
I ALWAYS FELT THAT I NEED TO LOOK AT BEHIND MY BACK OVER ON MY SHOULDER BECAUSE SOMEBODY MAY FOLLOW ME.
SOMEBODY MAY HIT ME WITH A STONE.
I ALWAYS DID WHEN I WAS A KID I ALWAYS DID.
WE ALL KNEW THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING OFF ABOUT OUR PARENTS NOT THAT THEY WERE DYSFUNCTIONAL BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT THEM THAT I THINK WAS DAMAGED IN SOME WAY AND WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT WHEN WE WERE YOUNG AND ONLY AS ADULTS.
WHEN WE RECONNECTED DID WE ALL DISCOVER WE HAD FELT THE SAME THING.
TO ANYONE WHO MET MY MOTHER.
SHE WAS THIS ADORABLE LITTLE WOMAN ABOUT FOUR FOOT SIX WHO SPOKE WITH A VERY HEAVY GERMAN ACCENT.
WHEN SHE WAS ABOUT 14 WHEN HER MOTHER DIED OF NATURAL CAUSES FROM BOTCHED SURGERY AND SHE WAS LEFT AT THE AGE OF 14 TO CARE FOR HER YOUNGER SISTER WHO I THINK WAS ABOUT FIVE.
HER FATHER, WHO WAS MUCH OLDER THAN HIS WIFE HAD AGAIN A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN AND SHE ALSO HAD TO TAKE OVER RUNNING THE FAMILY STORE.
THIS IS ALL ITSELF REMARKABLE.
ADD TO THIS THE FACT THAT THIS OCCURRED IN THE EARLY THIRTIES WHEN THE NAZI PARTY HAS COME TO POWER AND WHEN THEY ARE TIGHTENING THEIR GRIP ON GERMANY, THIS IS A TIME WHERE SHE COULD GO OUT AND DO THE FAMILY SHOPPING FOR LIKE ONE HOUR A DAY AND EVERY TIME SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE HOUSE HER LIFE WAS IN DANGER.
I WENT TO ASK MY MOTHER WHEN SHE KNEW IT WAS TIME TO LEAVE AND SHE SAID WELL, THEY CALLED THE HEAD OF THE LOCAL JEWISH COMMUNITY TO STUTTGART, WHICH WAS THE CLOSEST BIG CITY FOR CONSULTATION AND TO INTERVIEW HIM AND HE CAME HOME THAT NIGHT ON THE TRAIN IN A SEALED COFFIN AND SHE SAID THAT WAS WHEN SHE KNEW SHE HAD TO GET OUT.
SO SHE TRIED TO GET EXIT VISAS FOR ALL THREE MEMBERS OF HER FAMILY.
HER FATHER AND HER SISTER HERSELF.
SO ONE DAY SHE WENT TO THE CONSULATE AND SHOULD GUARD AFTER NOT GETTING ANY RESPONSE AND SHE RACED PAST THE SECRETARY AND WENT INTO THE COUNSEL'S OFFICE AND SHUT THE DOOR BEHIND HER AND SIMPLY TOLD HIM THAT SHE WAS NOT LEAVING UNTIL SHE HAD THREE EXIT VISAS.
AND THE MAN SAID WELL I CAN'T DO THAT.
WE DON'T WORK THAT FAST.
AND SHE SAID YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IF I DON'T COME AWAY WITH THOSE THINGS I'M GOING TO TELL THEM THAT YOU RAPED ME AND WITH THAT SHE RIPPED HER HER BLOUSE.
SHE CAME HOME WITH THREE EXIT VISAS AND GOT HER FAMILY OUT.
NOW WORDS FAIL ME.
I SIMPLY CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE MY TINY LITTLE MOTHER LIKE THIS.
AND MY FATHER'S STORY IS EVEN MORE HORRIFIC BECAUSE HE SPENT TIME IN BUCHENWALD CONCENTRATION CAMP AND YET THEY WERE GOOD PARENTS LOVING PARENTS, CARING PARENTS.
THEY DOTED ON THEIR GRANDCHILDREN, MY CHILDREN.
AND THERE IS A KIND OF A HEROISM THERE.
DIAMOND BARTER.
NEITHER OF MY PARENTS WAS IN >> A POSITION TO HAVE A DIAMOND BEFORE THE WAR BUT MY STEPMOTHER'S FAMILY WAS.
SHE TOLD ME HER OLDER SISTER HAD MANAGED TO CONCEAL A DIAMOND ON HER PERSON FOR ALL THE TIME THEY WERE IN A LABOR CAMP.
AT THE END OF THE WAR MY STEPMOTHER AND HER SISTER WERE IN A DEATH MARCH.
MY STEPMOTHER WAS STILL A TEENAGER AND THROUGHOUT HER LIFE SHE REALLY SUFFERED WHEN SHE WAS THIRSTY.
THEY DIDN'T GET ENOUGH TO DRINK ON THE DEATH MARCH AND MY STEPMOTHER GOT TO THE POINT WHERE SHE WAS SO MISERABLE SHE WAS NOT WILLING TO KEEP WALKING.
SHE TOLD HER SISTER THAT SHE WAS GOING TO SIT DOWN AND SHE DIDN'T CARE IF SHE WAS SHOT.
HER SISTER DISAPPEARED INTO THE CROWD AND CAME BACK WITH A CUP OF WATER.
SHE HAD TRADED IT FOR THE DIAMOND.
MY STEPMOTHER DRANK IT AND INSPIRED BY THE SACRIFICE KEPT WALKING.
THEY BOTH SURVIVED AND LIVED MANY YEARS AFTERWARD HAVING HOARDED THESE STORIES AND WILLING TO BARTER THEM FOR UNDERSTANDING.
PERHAPS THERE WILL BE UNDERSTANDING FROM THOSE WHO READ OR HEAR THEM.
BUT I THINK >> THAT I CAN ALSO GAIN UNDERSTANDING OF MYSELF THROUGH THESE INCIDENTS AND THE FEELINGS THAT THEY INSPIRE IN ME.
THIS WASN'T A CASUAL GO TO THAT COUNTY AND ROUND UP THE JEWS AND SEE WHO YOU CAN FLUSH OUT.
THIS WAS IN AN EFFICIENT, EFFICIENT ORGANIZED APPROACH TO GENOCIDE >> AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL TO SEE MY MOTHER OR FATHER OR THEIR SIBLINGS REDUCED TO A SIMPLE CATTLE LOG ENTRY WITH A NUMBER ON IT.
THAT WAS SUCH A HARD REALITY.
I FELT DIFFERENT.
I KNEW THAT MY PARENTS WERE FOREIGN.
I KNEW THEY HAD GONE THROUGH WHATEVER THEY HAD GONE THROUGH.
I DIDN'T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY HAD GONE THROUGH BUT THROUGH MY FATHER'S TALKING I GATHERED THEY'D GONE THROUGH A LOT.
HE WAS SO CONCERNED THAT PEOPLE KNOW HE THOUGHT MOST PEOPLE WOULDN'T BELIEVE ANY OF THE ATROCITIES AND HE SAW HITLER'S PEOPLE TAKE A BABY BY THE FEET AND SMASH THE BABY'S HEAD AGAINST THE BRICK WALL.
HE WOULD TELL ME STORIES LIKE THAT AND SAY I WANT YOU TO PASS ALONG THESE KIND OF STORIES.
AND I PROMISED HIM THAT I WOULD TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT.
I FELT RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR HAPPINESS AND I FIND OUT THAT I'M NOT THAT DIFFERENT.
THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE THAT HAVE VERY SIMILAR FEELINGS.
SOME OF THE THINGS THAT THAT YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY FATHER IT STARTS OUT THAT THE REASON WHY HE KNEW THAT HE WANTED TO LEAVE POLAND IN THE FIRST PLACE WAS THAT HE WENT ON A LONG WALK WITH HIS OWN FATHER OUT OF THE CITY OF LODGE BECAUSE THEY WERE TOLD RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE WAR THAT EVERY CITY WAS GOING TO BE THE CITY THAT WAS GOING TO BE BOMBED BY THE GERMANS.
AND WHILE MY FATHER WAS WALKING WITH HIS FATHER WHO WAS A HASIDIC JEW WHO WORE A LONG COAT, HAD A LONG BEARD AND THE AND THE SIDE CURLS AND A HEAD OF COURSE YOU >> COULD TELL THAT HE WAS A RELIGIOUS JEW.
HE WAS CAUGHT BY A GROUP OF SOLDIERS, NAZI SOLDIERS AND THEY REALLY RESENTED THESE RELIGIOUS PEOPLE AND MY FATHER WHO HIS FATHER PUSHED HIM AWAY AND HAD HIM HIDE BEHIND A BUSH AND MY FATHER WATCHED THESE SOLDIERS CUT THE SKIN OFF OF HIS FATHER'S >> FACE WITH HIS BEARD.
SO MY FATHER SAW THAT HAPPEN.
AND THEN ALSO ANOTHER INCIDENT BEFORE THEY LEFT POLAND WAS THAT HE WALKED INTO THE CENTER OF THE CITY OF LARGE.
THERE WERE SCAFFOLDS ALL AROUND AND THERE WERE ABOUT 12 JEWISH PEOPLE HANGING FROM NOOSES.
MY FATHER CAME IN WHEN ALL OF THE NOOSES WERE FILLED SO HE HE WAS LUCKY AND IT JUST WAS ONE OF THOSE THINGS.
BUT THEY CAUGHT HIM TOO AND THEY MADE HIM CLEAN UP.
HE AND MANY OTHER MEN THEY MADE THEM CLEAN UP THE MESS.
SO THESE TWO INCIDENTS HAPPENED TO HIM AND >> EACH ONE OF THESE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO HIM WAS LIKE AN INJURY >> TO HIS HEART.
I GUESS.
AND SO HOW CAN >> YOU FEEL BAD WHEN YOUR FATHER IS MEAN TO YOU WHEN HE'S HAD THAT KIND OF A BACKGROUND?
THIS PEACE IS TO MY RELATIVE LOST IN 19 >> 53 THE STATE OF ISRAEL ESTABLISHED YOM HASHOAH TO COMMEMORATE >> THE 6 MILLION JEWS THAT PERISHED DURING THE WORLD WAR TWO THE LARGEST ACT OF GENOCIDE IN THE WORLD.
ON THIS DAY WE HONOR AND MORE ITS VICTIMS ALONG WITH THE WORLD IT WAS DESTROY IT IN MANY PLACES FOR SPECIAL MEMORIALS THEIR COUNTRY FLAG PLOPS IN HALF MASS.
I WONDER HOW THE WORLD WOULD LOOK LIKE WITH 6 MILLION FLAGS FLAPPING IN THE WIND.
HOW THE WORLD WOULD BE ILLUMINATED BY 6 MILLION CANDLES.
I ALSO TRY TO IMAGINE WHAT TYPE OF COMMANDING ECHO WOULD REVERBERATE BY READING ALL THE 6 MILLION NAMES IN THE AIR.
>> MY PARENTS LOSING TWO CHILDREN 11 AND 13 YEARS OLD BOYS.
YOU'RE SURE AND LIPPMAN WERE THEIR NAMES.
I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY LIVED IT.
HOW THEY DID IT LOOKING AT MY AT MY TIME TODAY.
I'VE GOT GRANDCHILDREN NOW THAT ARE OLDER THAN THAT.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THEY MADE IT THROUGH.
I HAVE TO UTMOST RESPECT FOR THEM NOW SO MUCH MORE THAN I DID WHEN THEY WERE ALIVE.
SO MY MOTHER GOT OUT AND CAME TO NEW YORK BY HERSELF AT 18 AND AT THAT POINT SHE WAS THINKING SHE WAS GOING TO YOU KNOW, THAT HER MOTHER WOULD FOLLOW HER AND HER MOTHER NEVER GOT OUT AND HER MOTHER WAS MURDERED ON A TRAIN THAT WAS TAKING ALL OF THE PEOPLE IN 1944 ALL THE JEWS OUT OF MUNICH WHERE SHE LIVED.
OUR MOTHER WHO DIDN'T GO INTO A CAMP LIKE MY FATHER WENT TO BUCHENWALD AND A LOT OF HER FRIENDS WHEN SHE WAS LIVING IN WEST PALM HAD NUMBERS ON THEM AND SHE ALWAYS FELT LIKE SHE WASN'T A SURVIVOR BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T GO INTO A CAMP.
BUT WE ALWAYS TOLD HER WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH MAKES YOU A SURVIVOR.
YOU LOST YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS THERE WERE YOUNG THEY WERE ABLE TO WORK IN AUSCHWITZ AND BERGEN-BELSEN.
MY MOTHER AND HER SISTERS WORKED IN AN AREA CALLED CANADA WHICH WAS THE INTAKE CENTER.
AS SOON AS YOU GOT OFF THE TRAIN AND YOU GOT SEPARATED AND YOU SURVIVED THE GERMAN SHEPHERD DOGS AND THE THE LOUD NOISES YOU'D GO YOU'D GET DISROBED ALL YOUR BELONGINGS AND YOU WERE TOLD THAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET A SHOWER FROM YOUR LONG TRIP.
AND MY MOTHER WORKED THERE FOR QUITE A VERY LONG TIME SORTING THROUGH THE CLOTHES BECAUSE SHE WAS YOUNG, HEALTHY AND ABLE TO PROVIDE WORK AS A FORCED SLAVE THEN SHE COULD SURVIVE.
I >> REALIZE HOW MUCH THEY WENT THROUGH AND HOW BRAVE THEY WERE ESPECIALLY MY FATHER WHO WAS IN SOME WAY I WOULD SAY A VISIONARY >> AT THIS JUST HE WANTED >> TO PROTECT HIS FAMILY AND LEAVE THE COUNTRY WHEN WITH ALL THE THINGS THAT WERE HAPPENING AND SOME WAY >> HE FELT THAT THE LOCAL POPULATION WAS GOING TO TURN AGAINST THEM.
MY MOTHER HAD A BOX >> ABOUT THIS BIG IT WAS WHITE SO IT'S ABOUT THIS TALL >> AND I THINK >> ON A SATURDAY AFTERNOON I WOULD ASK MY MOTHER WOULD WE TAKE PICTURES?
IT WAS FILLED WITH PHOTOGRAPHS AND WE WOULD TAKE THE PHOTOGRAPHS OUT AND WHO WAS THIS ONE AND WHO WAS THAT AND WHO WAS THAT HOW WE RELATED AND WHAT HAPPENED AND WHO WERE HAPPEN TO THEM AND WHAT HAVE YOU.
AND SO IT WAS IN MY EARLY TEENS THAT I SORT OF REALLY HAD A STRONG AWARENESS AND BEGAN TO SORT OF HEAR SOME OF THE STORY >> NOT ALL OF IT BECAUSE I HAD TO BE THE ONE ASKING THE QUESTIONS.
MY MOTHER REALLY NEVER VOLUNTEERED ANSWERS OR RESPONSES OR GAVE ME >> INFORMATION WITHOUT ME PROBING.
MY >> MOTHER WOULD SAY NEVER THROW AWAY BREAD BECAUSE BREAD WAS WHAT SUSTAIN THEM.
IT WAS THE ONLY FOOD THEY PRETTY MUCH HAD IN EUROPE WHEN THEY COULD GET IT.
MOSTLY THEY STARVED BUT IN BETWEEN STARVING THEY THEY COULD GET BREAD.
THEY WOULD HAVE TO LINE UP IN SIBERIA IN FREEZING TEMPERATURES AND LINES OF WITH HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE WAITING FOR BREAD.
ONE STORY THEY GAVE THEM RAW DOUGH AND SHE WAS AFRAID SOMEONE WOULD TRY TO STEAL IT FROM HER SO SHE PUT IT INSIDE HER CLOTHES AND AS SHE WALKED BACK IT JUST KEPT RISING AND RISING AND RISING AND RISING.
THAT WAS ONE OF THE STORIES THAT YOU KNOW, SHE LOOKED LIKE SHE WAS, YOU KNOW, 20 MONTHS PREGNANT BY THE TIME SHE GOT BACK TO THE HUT THAT THEY LIVED IN.
THE OTHER STORY THAT IS A MUCH SADDER STORY IS THAT SHE WAITED IN LINE FOR BREAD AND IT WAS A TIME WHEN THEY REALLY HADN'T HAD MUCH TO EAT FOR MANY DAYS AND SO THEY WERE VERY, VERY HUNGRY.
AND MY FATHER TOLD HER THAT MORNING THAT HE WOULD GO OUT AND TRY TO FIND SOME WORK SO THAT HE COULD MAKE SOME MONEY AND HE COULD BUY THEM SOMETHING TO EAT.
AND SHE SAID HER JOB WOULD BE TO GO AND WAIT IN LINE AND GET BREAD.
AND SHE WENT AND SHE WAITED AND THEY FINALLY GAVE EACH PERSON JUST A LITTLE LITTLE HUNK OF BREAD AND SO SHE TOOK IT AND HID IT IN HER CLOTHES.
BUT WHILE SHE WAS WALKING SHE WAS SO HUNGRY THAT SHE TOOK A LITTLE NIBBLE AND THEN SHE TOOK A LITTLE NIBBLE MORE AND MY MOTHER KEPT TAKING LITTLE LITTLE BITS OF THIS BREAD AND BY THE TIME SHE GOT HOME THE BREAD WAS GONE BECAUSE IT WAS JUST A SMALL LITTLE PIECE OF BREAD TO BEGIN WITH.
BUT SHE WAS COMPLETELY HYSTERICAL BECAUSE SHE KNEW THAT MY FATHER ALSO WAS THAT HUNGRY THAT HE COULD HAVE EATEN THAT WHOLE PIECE OF BREAD AND SHE DIDN'T LEAVE ENOUGH TO SHARE WITH HIM.
SHE DIDN'T LEAVE ANYTHING SHE REALLY MAKES THAT STORY INTO PROBABLY LESS THAN WHAT IT EVEN WAS REALLY.
>> MY DAD WAS FROM A SMALL LITTLE TOWN CALLED SHERROD'S.
MY DAD'S FAMILY WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL IN THE AREA THEY OWNED SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS THAT INVOLVED TRUCKS FOR TRANSPORT, MOVING STORAGE AND BUSSES.
IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS MECHANICALLY INCLINED THAT HE WOULD BE ABLE IN THE SLAVE LABOR CAMPS WHEN THEY WOULD COME BY EACH MORNING AND LOOK FOR PEOPLE TO WORK.
THEY WOULD YELL OUT WE NEED A DOZEN TAILORS, FOUR COBBLERS AND TWO MECHANICS AND SO IF YOU HAD THE SKILL YOU'D RAISE YOUR HAND AND THAT WAS YOUR TICKET FOR ANOTHER >> DAY OF LIVING.
MY MOTHER'S FAMILY BROUGHT TO AUSCHWITZ A JAR OF IRON BRANT A KIND OF ROUX MADE FROM FLOUR AND FAIR USE TO MAKE SOUP WITH VEGETABLES OR DUMPLINGS.
THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING SOMEWHERE TO WORK AND THAT THEY WOULD BE LIVING AS A FAMILY AND COOKING.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO IT BECAUSE PRESUMING MY GRANDMOTHER HELD IT AND SHE WAS SENT STRAIGHT TO THE GAS CHAMBERS WITH THE YOUNGER SIBLINGS WHILE MY MOTHER AND AUNT WERE SENT TO THE BARRACKS TO BE CONSIDERED FOR WORK IN THE REACTION TO BEING SEPARATED.
I DON'T THINK ANYONE THOUGHT ABOUT THE FINE PRINT THOUGH MY MOTHER MUST HAVE THOUGHT OF IT WITH LONGING IN THE COLD STARVING MONTHS THAT FOLLOWED.
THIS IS SOMETHING >> THAT MY PARENTS MADE WHEN I WAS BORN AND WHEN I WAS BORN THEY REALLY HAD VERY VERY LITTLE MONEY AND NONE TO SPARE.
BUT THEY MADE ME THIS LITTLE GOLD DISC >> AND THEY'RE THE DATES.
EACH OF MY PARENTS WAS LIBERATED ON ONE ON EACH SIDE BY THEM CHOOSING TO MAKE THIS FOR ME WHEN I WAS JUST A BABY.
IT SHOWS THE IMPORTANCE THEY PUT ON THEIR LIBERATION AND ON TRANSMITTING TO THEIR INFANT DAUGHTER THE IMPORTANCE OF THAT >> THEY WERE LIBERATED FROM THE CAMPS HAVING NOTHING, NOWHERE TO GO, NOTHING LEFT.
MY FATHER COULDN'T RETURN TO HIS HOME.
SOMEBODY TAKEN IT OVER.
HE KNEW THAT FOR A FACT AND THEY TOLD HIM NOT TO GO BACK BECAUSE IF THE PERSON LIVING THERE FOUND HIM THEY WOULD PROBABLY KILL HIM SO HE COULDN'T GO BACK FOR PICTURES, MEMORABILIA OR EVEN TO SEE, YOU KNOW, OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS EXTENDED FAMILY MEMBERS NO PLACE TO MEET.
>> I'LL TELL YOU AN INTERESTING STORY ABOUT SHIMON.
MY DAD'S ONLY SURVIVING BROTHER.
THERE WERE SEVEN IN HIS FAMILY, SEVEN SIBLINGS AND ONLY HE AND HIS BROTHERS SURVIVED AFTER THE WAR.
THEY COULDN'T FIND EACH OTHER ON ANY LIST.
BUT >> MY DAD KNEW HOW TO DRIVE AND DRIVING WAS ACTUALLY A SKILL THAT MANY PEOPLE DIDN'T LEARN TO HAVE CARS BACK THEN.
AND SO AFTER THE WAR HE WORKED FOR THE UN DELIVERING GOODS TO VARIOUS DP >> CAMPS.
AND ONE AFTERNOON HE PULLED INTO A DEPOT WHERE THE CAMP WAS.
HE CAME OUT OF THE TRUCK THAT HE WAS DRIVING AND FROM ACROSS SOMEBODY ELSE HEY SHIMON, MY DAD LOOKS AROUND WHERE THEY CAME FROM.
HE WALKS UP TO THE GUY.
HE GOES WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
HE GOES >> SHAME ON YOU KNOW ME.
I JUST SAW YOU TWO DAYS AGO.
HE GOES, NO, MY NAME IS YAAKOV.
HE GOES WHERE DID YOU SEE SHIMON?
HE GOES, WELL, HE DRIVES A TRUCK TOO.
AND IT WAS ANOTHER PART OF GERMANY.
HE HAD A ROUTE THAT HE WAS GOING AND SO HE TOLD MY DAD WHERE THE TERMINAL WAS THAT HE PICKED UP THE GOODS.
MY DAD TOOK A TRAIN OR HOWEVER HE GOT THERE I CAN'T REMEMBER AND MET UP WITH HIS BROTHER AS HE CAME IN, PULLED IN WITH THE TRUCK ONE DAY.
OTHERWISE YOU PROBABLY NEVER WOULD HAVE COME ACROSS EACH OTHER BECAUSE >> YOU KNOW THE LISTS ARE JUST >> THEY'RE RANDOM AS TO WHO WHO'S WHERE AND THAT'S HOW HE FOUND HIS BROTHER.
OFTENTIMES I WOULD HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO MY FRIENDS THEY WOULD PULL ME ASIDE AND SAY HEY, DO YOU KNOW YOUR MOM HAS A TATTOO ON HER ARM?
AND THAT WAS HER AUSCHWITZ NUMBER A5674.
SHE WAS TOLD BY THE GI DOCTORS WHO LIBERATED THEM AND GAVE THEM THE PHYSICALS AS THEY CAME INTO THE DP CAMPS.
THAT ONE SHE SHOULD COUNT HER LUCKY STARS THAT SHE WAS ALIVE BUT THAT SHE WOULD NEVER HAVE CHILDREN AGAIN BECAUSE OF THE SQUALOR OF THE MALNOURISHMENT AND THE MEDICATIONS THEY GAVE THEM TO NOT HAVE PERIODS AND STUFF LIKE THAT.
RECALLED TO LIFE NURSED TO HEALTH BY THE RED CROSS SURVIVORS IN BERGEN-BELSEN FORMED SOCIAL GROUPS IN ACCORD WITH THEIR CITY OF ORIGIN.
THIS IS WHERE BEN AND BELLA MET AND MARRIED IN 1946 AFTER A YEAR IN BERGEN-BELSEN THEY WERE RELOCATED TO DO A DISPLACED PERSONS CAMP IN NOI FREEMAN MUNICH.
THIS IS WHERE SOLOMON SAM, THEIR FIRST CHILD WAS BORN IN 1947.
HIS DIFFICULT DELIVERY FORESHADOWED HIS LATER RELATION SHIP WITH HIS PARENTS.
AFTER 48 HOURS OF LABOR AND UNSUCCESSFUL ASSISTANCE BY A MIDWIFE, DR. BOWER A DO NOT SUPPLY GERMAN WAS CALLED IN.
NO OTHER DOCTORS WERE AVAILABLE.
IN ADDITION TO FEARS INHERENT IN PROTRACTED >> LABOR, BELLA'S BABY WAS BEING DELIVERED BY A FORMER NAZI CHILLINGLY IRONIC.
THE NAZIS HAD EXTERMINATED BELLOW'S ENTIRE FAMILY BUT WAS NOW BRINGING FORTH NEW LIFE FOR HER.
>> I NEVER REALLY FULLY APPRECIATE SAID HOW MUCH IT MUST HAVE BEEN DIFFICULT, HOW MUCH IT HURT ALL THE LOSSES THAT MY MOTHER SUFFERED.
I JUST KNEW WHAT I WAS EXPERIENCING WITHIN OUR FAMILY UNIT SO EVERYTHING GOT A LITTLE BIT MUDDLED.
>> I ALWAYS KNEW I MEAN THERE WAS THERE WERE THINGS THAT THEY'D ALWAYS EXPLAIN THAT RELATED TO THAT LIKE HOW WE HAD NO GRANDPARENTS SO THERE WAS NO TRAUMA OF OF REALIZING IT.
I THINK THAT'S A TREMENDOUSLY BENEFICIAL THING THAT THEY DID FOR US.
THIS IS MY >> PARENTS ON THE DAY THEY WERE NATURALIZED AND ME AND OF COURSE MY BROTHER AND I WERE ALREADY AMERICAN CITIZENS AND WE MIGHT HAVE GIVEN THEM A LITTLE GRIEF ABOUT HOW THEY WEREN'T >> UNTIL THIS DAY WHEN >> I CAME HERE IN 1949.
I KNEW NO ENGLISH.
MY HOME LANGUAGE WAS YIDDISH.
I SAW OTHER CHILDREN THAT INTERACTED WITH THEMSELVES.
THEY SEEMED TO KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT BUT TO ME IT WAS BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
SO I WENT UP TO A GROUP OF KIDS AND SAID BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
AFTER THAT I KNEW NUMBER ONE I WAS EMBARRASSED.
NUMBER TWO, I KNEW THAT I WAS DIFFERENT THAN ANYBODY ELSE.
THAT'S AT A VERY YOUNG AGE FOUR OR FIVE YEARS OLD.
I USED TO THINK THAT EVERYONE >> HAD PARENTS THAT WERE SURVIVORS GROWING UP BUT IN MY HOUSEHOLD MY FATHER WAS A VERY STRICT DISCIPLINARIAN.
YOU COULDN'T REALLY ASK FOR ANYTHING OR SHARE ANYTHING.
WE WERE SIX KIDS AND WE WERE ALL WHAT YOU CALL GOOD KIDS.
THERE WAS NO BANTERING ABOUT OR PLAYING GAMES WITH YOUR PARENTS.
IT WAS VERY MUCH CHILDREN SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD KIND OF THING.
THAT'S HOW IT WAS GROWING UP IN THAT HOME.
MY PARENTS >> WERE VERY FRUGAL.
THEY WERE VERY ARE ALWAYS VERY CONSERVATIVE ABOUT EVERYTHING.
THEY DIDN'T SPEND A LOT OF MONEY.
>> THEY ALWAYS TRIED TO KEEP WHATEVER THEY HAVE BECAUSE THEY NEVER KNEW WHAT WILL HAPPEN THE NEXT DAY.
THEY WERE TRYING TO PROVIDE FOR THEIR FIVE CHILDREN >> AND YOU THINK THAT THEY NEEDED NOT EXACTLY WHAT WE WANTED BUT WHAT WAS NEEDED FOR OUR GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT.
I REALLY WANTED SO BADLY TO HAVE GRANDPARENTS ESPECIALLY A GRANDMOTHER WHICH I NEVER HAD.
AND RIGHT NOW I'M WORKING IN A NURSING HOME AND I ACQUIRED SO MANY GRANDPARENTS >> SO I FEEL LIKE I FULFILLED MY NEED WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING ABOUT IT.
AND I WAS EDUCATED.
I WAS >> TOLD ALWAYS STUDY AND STUDY AND STUDY BECAUSE THIS IS SOMETHING NOBODY CAN TAKE AWAY FROM YOU.
BIRTHDAYS WERE REALLY GREAT THE SAME THREE PEOPLE WITH THE SAME HOMEMADE CAKE.
YOU >> GOT TO HAVE ALL THE FRIENDS THAT YOU WANTED AS LONG AS IT WAS A CRIME.
AND SAM >> WE HAD NO BIRTHDAY PARTIES, OKAY?
YOU GOT TO PICK YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU GOT ROAST INSTEAD OF MEATLOAF THAT DAY.
>> THERE WAS A TREAT THOUGH MOM WOULD BRING HOME A HALF GALLON OF NEAPOLITAN ICE CREAM BECAUSE YOU COULD CHOOSE BETWEEN CHOCOLATE, VANILLA AND STRAWBERRY ALL AT ONCE.
SO THAT WAS LIKE WOW.
>> YEAH.
NO LIVING ON THE EDGE, NO PARTIES.
>> MY MOTHER LOVED TO BAKE AND COOK AND OF COURSE SHE HAD THIS HUGE FAMILY IN CLEVELAND SO THEY WERE ALWAYS VERY FESTIVE HAPPY CELEBRATIONS AGAIN, MY FATHER WAS PRESENT BUT HE WAS SOMBER.
YOU KNOW, HE WAS THE ONE THAT THAT EVERYBODY WOULD TURN AND GO WHAT'S WITH HIM?
YOU ALWAYS THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS WRONG BECAUSE HE WAS SO >> REMOVED >> RADIATING GRACE THROUGH A FADING TATTOO.
I'M A SECOND GENERATION HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR.
WHEN I REFLECT ON MY UPBRINGING THE KEYS ELEMENTS OF OUR FAMILY VALUES, OUR EDUCATION, HARD WORK AND GIVING TO THOSE IN NEED.
I BELIEVE THAT'S HOW MY FATHER SURVIVED DURING AND AFTER THE ATROCITIES OF THE HOLOCAUST IN EUROPE.
MY FATHER HENRY LAND WORTH MIRACULOUSLY ENDURED FIVE CONCENTRATION CAMPS BETWEEN THE AGES OF 13 AND 18.
DURING THE WAR HIS TORMENTORS ONLY KNEW HIM BY HIS NUMBER BE 4343.
HIS STRENGTH AND COURAGE PERSEVERED EVEN THOUGH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY EXCEPT FOR HIS TWIN SISTER MARGOT WAS VIOLENTLY MURDERED BY THE NAZIS.
WHICH MEANS IN ESSENCE I TOO LOST MY ENTIRE EXTENDED FAMILY.
MY FATHER WAS A COMPLICATED MAN AND LOVED US AS MUCH AS HE POSSIBLY COULD.
WE ALL TRIED TO COPE WITH HIS EMOTIONAL DISTANCE AND NOT CAUSE HIM ANY FURTHER PAIN OR UNHAPPINESS.
LIKE MANY OTHER SECOND GENERATION HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS, BEING WELL-BEHAVED CHILDREN MEANT NEVER DISAPPOINTING OUR PARENTS OR LETTING THEM DOWN.
WHEN WE VISITED AUSCHWITZ TOGETHER IN 2003 HE TOLD ME THEY STRIPPED HIM NAKED, SHAVED HIS HEAD, BRANDED A TATTOO, GAVE HIM A UNIFORM AND ORDERED HIM TO STAND IN LINE.
NO ONE RECOGNIZED EACH OTHER AS THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME TO THE NAZIS THEY WERE ALL JUST NUMBERS.
AS MY FATHER'S MEMORY FADES, SO DO THE TATTOO NUMBERS ON HIS ARM.
BUT AS A SECOND GENERATION HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR, I'M HERE TO PICK UP THE TORCH, KEEP HIS MEMORY ALIVE AND SHARE OUR STORY.
I THINK WHEN >> IT REALLY HIT HOME TO ME WAS THE AFTERNOON OF NOVEMBER 22ND, 1963, THE DAY JOHN F KENNEDY WAS ASSASSINATED.
I CAME HOME FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL I THINK I WAS A SEVENTH GRADER AT THAT POINT AND MY MOTHER WAS SITTING FRONT IN FRONT OF THE TV AS ABSOLUTELY WHITE AS A SHEET AND WE WERE ALL SHOCKED BUT SHE SEEMED ALMOST CATATONIC AND SO I SAID TO HER WHAT'S WRONG?
AND SHE SAID SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SHE SAID JUST WAIT.
TOMORROW THEY'RE GOING TO COME FOR US.
BECAUSE IN HER MIND THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED WHENEVER THERE WAS A NATIONAL PROBLEM THEY CAME FOR THE JEWS.
AND SO IN A SENSE IT WAS CLEAR TO ME SHE HAD NEVER REALLY LEFT GERMANY.
SHE HAD MENTAL BAGS STILL PACKED READY TO FLEE AND AT SOME LEVEL THAT'S I THINK WHEN I UNDERSTOOD THAT THIS HISTORICAL EXPERIENCE WAS LIVING ON, YOU KNOW, IN THAT SENSE THAT I WAS YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T PROCESS THIS VERY AT THE TIME BUT IT BECAME CLEAR TO ME IN RETROSPECT.
THAT'S WHEN I UNDERSTOOD THAT THIS EVENT, THIS EXPERIENCE WAS AGAIN PART OF THE THINGS THAT I HAD TO LIVE WITH, YOU KNOW, AS THE CHILD OF SURVIVORS.
I DON'T WANT >> THE HOLOCAUST TO BE THE ONLY THING THAT EITHER REPRESENTS OR CONNECTS ME TO MY FATHER.
I WANT WHAT WAS GOOD AND BEAUTIFUL AND RICH AND INSPIRING ABOUT BEING JEWISH TO BE THE THING THAT KEEPS ME CONNECTED.
I THINK HIS LOSSES WERE INCONSOLABLE AND EVEN INCALCULABLE.
BUT HE WAS A JEW AND HE WOULD HAVE NEVER WANTED US TO NOT BE JEWISH.
>> IMAGINE GROWING UP WHERE EVERY TIME YOU WERE A BAD YOU FELT GUILTY NOT FOR WHAT YOU DID BUT BECAUSE YOU WERE INJURING YOUR PARENTS THAT WERE ALREADY SO INJURED.
>> ONE OF THE THINGS I WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE KITCHEN.
I COULDN'T TURN THE WATER FAUCET ON.
I COULDN'T POUR A GLASS OF WATER FOR MYSELF EVEN WHEN I WAS FIVE OR SIX YEARS OLD I WASN'T ALLOWED TO TOUCH ANYTHING THAT WAS ELECTRICAL.
I COULDN'T TURN A KNOB.
I COULDN'T TURN A LIGHT SWITCH ON.
THERE WERE A LOT OF CRAZY RULES >> WHICH DIDN'T MAKE ANY SENSE BUT IT MADE SENSE TO THEM SOMEHOW.
IT ALWAYS SEEMED LIKE >> EVERYTHING WAS MORE PRECIOUS THAN I REALIZED.
I WAS JUST A CHILD SO THE TIME FRAME WOULD BE THE 1950S.
MY FATHER A HOLOCAUST LIVING IN THE STATES JUST A LITTLE OVER A DECADE WORKED IN THE PRODUCE DEPARTMENT OF A FOOD MARKET.
HIS BOSS DID LITTLE IF ANYTHING TO HIDE HIS ANTI-SEMITIC VIEWS.
THERE WAS ONE INSTANCE, HOWEVER, THAT CLEARLY CROSSED THE THRESHOLD OF OUTRIGHT AND DELIBERATE DEMONSTRATION OF ANTAGONISM AND RACISM.
MY FATHER'S BOSS ARROGANTLY LOOKING DOWN AT MY SHOULDER DAD HAD GIVEN HIM YET ANOTHER HARD TIME FINALLY TELLING HIM POINT BLANK MAURICE I DON'T LIKE YOU.
THE ANTI-SEMITIC OVERTONES REMAINED UNSPOKEN BUT WELL EXPRESSED NONETHELESS MUSTERING HIS SURVIVORS CHUTZPAH.
MY FATHER STOOD TALL AND RESPONDED WITH HITLER TOLD ME THE SAME THING.
I'M HERE.
WHERE IS HE?
THE CONFRONTATION ENDED.
MY FATHER HAD GAINED YET ANOTHER VICTORY.
MY BROTHER AND I UNDERSTOOD AT SOME LEVEL THAT WE WERE LIVING LIVES THAT IN PART COMPENSATED MY PARENTS FOR THE TRAUMAS THEY HAD EXPERIENCED AND THAT OUR SUCCESS WAS EXTRAORDINARILY MEANINGFUL TO THEM.
ALMOST PERHAPS MORE MEANINGFUL TO THEM THAN TO US.
AND AT THE SAME POINT WE UNDERSTOOD THAT THEY EXPECTED PORTIONS OF US WERE EXTRAORDINARILY HIGH.
I REMEMBER ONCE BRINGING HOME A REPORT CARD TO MY FATHER STRAIGHT A'S AND MY FATHER SAID WHY NOT A PLUSES?
AND I SAID BECAUSE THEY DON'T GIVE THEM.
AND HE SAID, WELL, IF YOU HAD DONE WELL ENOUGH THEY WOULD HAVE.
AND IT WAS YOU KNOW, MY FATHER, I SHOULD POINT OUT, WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO BELIEVED THAT SELF-ESTEEM WAS NOT A TO BE ENCOURAGED BUT A PROBLEM THAT SHOULD BE MANAGED.
SELF-ESTEEM WAS NOT A GOOD THING.
YOU SHOULD BE HUMBLE AND AND YOU SHOULD IN A SENSE BE PREPARED TO BE GROUND DOWN AT SOME LEVEL.
I THINK IT WAS A VERY PESSIMISTIC LIFE VIEW BUT ONE THAT WAS CONSISTENT WITH HIS EXPERIENCE.
BUT WE WERE AWARE WE WERE ACCOMPLISHING FOR MY PARENTS AND IN A WAY FOR OUR GRANDPARENTS WE SORT OF UNDERSTOOD ANYTHING WE DID HAD THE WEIGHT OF MULTIPLE GENERATIONS BEHIND IT.
I WAS ABOUT EIGHT YEARS OLD.
WE WERE PILING INTO MY FATHER'S STATION WAGON GOING TO VISIT MY GRANDMOTHER AND I GOT MY FINGER STUCK IN THE CAR DOOR.
AND THE CHILD TODAY WOULD YELL OUT AND CRY AND YOU KNOW, BACK THEN I JUST HELD MY HAND FOR THE ENTIRE HALF HOUR DRIVE TO MY GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO.
I DIDN'T WANT TO SHOW ANY EMOTION.
FIRST OF ALL, MY FATHER PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN ANGRY WITH ME FOR FOR YELLING OUT.
PLUS THE MENTALITY WAS A SURVIVOR.
YOU DON'T CAUSE THEM ANY KIND OF ANGUISH OR ANGST OF ANY KIND.
SO YOU JUST WERE ALWAYS A GOOD GIRL.
IT'S FUNNY GROWING UP WE THOUGHT WE LIVED, YOU KNOW, MIDDLE CLASS OR MODESTLY.
WE REALLY DIDN'T KNOW HOW POOR WE WERE.
BUT BOTH MY PARENTS STANDARDS IT WAS WONDERFUL THAT YOU HAD MORE FOOD THAN YOU COULD EAT.
THE FIRST HOUSE IT WAS A TWO BEDROOM CLAPBOARD HOUSE AND SO THERE'S BEDROOM FOR MOM AND DAD AND ONE BEDROOM FOR THREE >> KIDS.
WELL, IT WAS A PRETTY SMALL HOUSE.
THERE WERE ONLY ROOM FOR TWO BEDS SO THIS GUY RIGHT HERE AND I SLEPT TOGETHER.
THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY CHILDHOOD WAS WHEN HE WENT OFF TO COLLEGE AND WE GOT TO SPLIT UP IN A TWIN BED.
OKAY.
I THOUGHT EVERYBODY SLEPT THAT WAY.
SO PEOPLE IN CAMP DIDN'T HAVE.
THAT'S RIGHT.
EVEN THOUGH WE WERE IMMIGRANTS, WE NEVER WENT WITHOUT ANYTHING WE THOUGHT GROWING UP IN AMERICA WAS JUST THE GREATEST THING AMAZING THAT WE COULD EXPERIENCE.
BUT THE ONE THING AND I THINK I'M SAYING WOULD AGREE WITH IS THAT I WAS JEALOUS OF GROWING UP WAS NOT HAVING GRANDPARENTS AND NOW THAT ALL THREE OF US THANK GOD ARE GRANDPARENTS.
I REALIZE WHAT A VOID THAT WAS.
THERE WAS A LACK OF JOY.
THERE WAS A LACK OF FUN THAT WASN'T PART OF AND BEING AN ONLY CHILD I DIDN'T HAVE THAT OTHER SIBLING TO PLAY WITH.
SO IT WAS A VERY QUIET HOUSEHOLD.
THEY DIDN'T HAVE A LOT OF MONEY BUT THEY SAVED MONEY TO BUY ME A PIANO BECAUSE THAT WAS MY FATHER'S DREAM TO HAVE ME BE A CONCERT PIANIST AND I THINK I'M TOTALLY TALENTLESS WHEN IT COMES TO PIANO.
BUT I HAD A PIANO AND I TOOK LESSONS AND NEVER REALLY DID VERY WELL WITH IT.
I >> DID OKAY LIKE MOST OF THE KIDS THAT I KNEW, WE ALL YOU KNOW, DIDN'T WANT TO PRACTICE AND WERE FORCED TO PRACTICE AND IT BECAME A HUGE ISSUE BETWEEN MY FATHER AND I AND ONE TIME HE DECIDED HE WAS SO ANGRY WITH ME THAT HE WOULD STOP SPEAKING TO ME FOR A YEAR AS >> A PUNISHMENT AND HE KEPT IT UP.
HE STOPPED SPEAKING TO ME FOR ALMOST A YEAR MAYBE LONGER I DON'T KNOW REALLY NEVER GOT BACK TO SPEAKING TO ME AFTER THAT.
ACTUALLY IT'S THAT HAPPENED WHEN I WAS EIGHT OR NINE AND WE REALLY HAD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP AFTER THAT.
ON ANOTHER SULTRY HOT SUMMER EVENING WHEN MY MOTHER SERVED A TYPICAL MEAT AND POTATOES MEAL, MY FATHER ASKED WHAT NO SOUP?
SHE ANSWERED AMEN.
IT'S 90 DEGREES OUTSIDE.
HOW CAN YOU EAT SOUP?
TO WHICH HE ANSWERED HEART IS HOT IN SOUP IS SOUP THAT JIM WENT INTO A LEXICON OF EXPRESSIONS MY SISTERS I CONTINUED TO QUOTE THE REST OF OUR LIVES WHEN WE WANTED TO MAKE A CASE SOMETHING THAT WAS COMPLETELY ILLOGICAL.
I THOUGHT MY FATHER WAS INCREDIBLY STRONG.
HE HAD SURVIVED IMPOSSIBLE ODDS.
HE'D LEFT POLAND ON FOOT.
HE WALKED FROM POLAND THROUGH COUNTRIES IN EUROPE, ENDED UP AS A STOWAWAY ON A SHIP, GOT TO TURKEY, ENDED UP IN PALESTINE, FOUGHT IN ISRAEL'S WAR OF INDEPENDENCE.
NO WEAKLING COULD HAVE DONE THAT.
AND ON THE OTHER HAND MY PERCEPTION OF HIM WAS THAT HE WAS FRAIL, THAT HE NEEDED TO BE PROTECTED BECAUSE HE WAS SO SAD .
WHEN I WAS TEN OUR MOTHER WAS IN THE HOSPITAL AND HE WAS SO DISCOMBOBULATED.
HE WAS SO SHAKEN.
SHE REALLY MANAGED OUR HOUSEHOLD.
HE WAS SO LOST.
AND I AT ONE POINT I SAID DADDY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRONG AND HE CRIED.
HE SAID I'M NOT STRONG.
I'M NOT STRONG.
MY MOTHER WAS A DRESSMAKER AND >> MADE MOST OF MY CLOTHES AND HER OWN CLOTHES >> AND SHE THIS TERRIBLE MEMORY BEING IN GERMANY IN THE DEEP CAMP WHEN SURVIVORS CAME BACK FROM THE CAMPS IN THEIR STRIPED PAJAMAS AND SHE NEVER FORGOT THAT AND I WASN'T ALLOWED TO EVER WEAR STRIPES OR HAVE YOU STRIPES YOU KNOW, IN A ROOM OR STRIPES JUST WERE NOT SOMETHING THAT MADE HER COMFORTABLE.
>> SHE ALSO COULD NOT GO TO SLEEP UNLESS ALL THE LIGHTS WERE ON IN OUR HOUSE SO WE SLEPT WITH LIGHTS ON EVERY NIGHT.
ONE OF MY MEMORIES OF MY MOTHER >> AS A CHILD MY MOTHER AND FATHER NEVER SPOKE TO ME ABOUT THEIR PARENTS AND SIBLINGS THAT HAD BEEN KILLED DURING THE HOLOCAUST.
NOR DID THEY EXPOUND ON THEIR ENCOUNTER WITH THE HUMILIATION AND HORROR OF DISCRIMINATION AND INTENDED EXTERMINATION.
I INNATELY KNEW THAT MY JOB WAS TO LIVE A PERFECTLY FLAWLESS EXISTENCE AND TO BE AN EXEMPLARY CHILD.
MY PARENTS PROUDLY REMARKED ON WHAT A PERFECT CHILD I HAD BEEN.
I ALWAYS DID AS I WAS TOLD AND SIT IN A RESTAURANT FOR HOURS WHILE THE ADULTS CARRIED ON CONVERSATIONS.
IT WAS AS IF I WAS LITERALLY A LIVING DOLL.
I NEVER SHARED PROBLEMS THAT I MIGHT HAVE ENCOUNTERED IN SCHOOL OR MY SOCIAL LIFE AS I WANTED THEM TO FIND COMFORT IN THIS DREAM OF PERFECTION.
MY PARENTS AS I SAID IN WHAT I READ WANTED MY LIFE TO BE PERFECT.
THEY DIDN'T WANT MY LIFE TO BE TAINTED THEN ANY WAY BY THEIR EXPERIENCES.
SO THEY WERE LIVING MAYBE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH THIS EXISTENCE THAT THEY CREATED FOR ME.
I >> ALWAYS WANTED GRANDPARENTS BECAUSE ALL MY FRIENDS HAD GRANDPARENTS AND I ADOPTED PEOPLE AND I THINK THAT MY NEED WAS I THINK I WORE IT ON MY SOUL AND ON MY PERSON AND I THINK PEOPLE TOOK ME IN AND MADE ME THEIR GRANDCHILD SO TO SPEAK.
AND AFTER MY MOTHER DIED I LOOKED FOR MOTHERS AND SO I THINK WE ALL WANT FAMILY OR I SHOULDN'T SPEAK FOR EVERYBODY.
I WANT FAMILY.
I THINK THAT'S A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF A HAPPY LIFE.
IT'S JUST LIKE AN OVERWHELMING FEELING.
IT'S JUST RAW EMOTION ABOUT THIS IS WHO WE ARE.
THIS IS WHAT MY GRANDPARENTS DIED FOR AND ALL THE OTHER JEWS AND ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE.
IT WASN'T JUST CHOOSE BUT ALL THE MILLIONS OF JEWS WHO PERISHED AND WE ARE HERE THAT WE SHOULD DO JUSTICE IN SOME WAY, THAT WE SHOULD PERPETUATE THE JEWISH RACE.
>> ON THE ONE HAND ANY WANTS BETTER FOR THEIR CHILD.
BUT I THINK MY FATHER WAS CONFLICTED.
HE HE WANTED CERTAINLY NEVER WANTED US TO SUFFER BUT HE WANTED US TO KNOW THAT SUFFERING WAS POSSIBLE.
SO WE INHERITED HIS GUILT.
I THINK THAT MARK'S SECOND GEN HOLOCAUST SURVIVAL GUILT >> I'M A SECOND GENERATION SURVIVOR.
I DIDN'T EXPERIENCE WHAT HE DID BUT I EXPERIENCE PAST >> HIM AND THANK GOD NOW MY CHILDREN ARE WELL-ROUNDED PEOPLE, INDEPENDENT PEOPLE AND THEY'RE RAISING THEIR CHILDREN TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES AND TO JUST TO BE SO IT'S LIKE KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE A STAIN AND THE CLOTHING IT TAKES MANY WASHES TO GET IT OUT SO IT'S YOU KNOW, IT'S TAKING MANY WASHES BUT EVERYTHING IS WORKING OUT.
WE HAD IN THE FAMILY FIVE CHILDREN.
>> EACH ONE OF US IS MARRIED AND HAS CHILDREN ON THEIR OWN AND >> AT THE MOMENT WE CANNOT GET TOGETHER IN OUR IN HOUSEHOLD ANYMORE FROM JUST TWO PEOPLE.
WE ARE NOW ABOUT 75 SO I WOULD WANT TO SAY THAT HITLER DID NOT SUCCEED AND NEVER WILL.
WE NEED TO REMEMBER THAT TO THINK LIKE THIS HAPPENED AND WE NEED TO MAKE SURE THAT IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
PROPAGANDA SUPPORTING THE DENIAL THAT THE HOLOCAUST WAS EVEN TRANSPIRING WAS ALSO PAINSTAKINGLY BEING DEVELOPED THROUGHOUT THAT INFAMOUS AND DETESTABLE PERIOD.
DID I USE THE TERM DENIAL?
SURELY THE WORLD COULD NOT DENY SUCH OBVIOUS AND EXTENSIVE EVIDENCE OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION OF MILLIONS UPON MILLIONS OF LIVES.
SURELY THE WORLD COULD NOT DENY THAT DELIBERATELY TURNING A BLIND EYE COULD IN ACTUALITY BE LABELED AS PARTIES OF PAINTING AND MURDER.
SURELY IN ALL THE AFTERMATH >> THE WORLD COULD NOT DENY THE SEEMINGLY ENDLESS DISCOVERIES OF GAS CHAMBERS INCINERATORS AND PILES OF BONES BELONGING TO HITLER'S VICTIMS.
SURELY THE WORLD COULD NOT DENY THE ANGUISHED FACES AND EMACIATED BODIES OF THE TORTURED AS DISPLAYED IN PICTURES AND NEWSREELS.
SURELY THE WORLD COULD NOT DENY THE RECOUNTING OF THE BRUTALITY BY THOSE WHO MANAGED TO SURVIVE.
SURELY THE WORLD COULD NOT DENY THE TESTIMONY OF A SURVIVOR'S FAMILY.
DESCRIBE LIFE WITH WHAT REMAINED PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY OF A LOVED ONE DESIGNATED AS HAVING BEEN FREED.
SURELY THE WORLD COULD NOT.
OR COULD IT?
WHEN MY GRANDSON HAD HIS BRIT MILA IS HIS CIRCUMCISION CEREMONY.
IT WAS SUCH A TREMENDOUS FEELING THAT I DIDN'T REALLY WANT HIM TO HAVE THE CIRCUMCISION CEREMONY BECAUSE ALL OF A SUDDEN THAT'S GOING TO MARK HIM AS A JEW.
YOU SEE WHAT'S THE POSSIBILITY OF PEOPLE BECOMING IN LEADERSHIP ROLES SOMEONE LIKE HITLER.
HITLER WAS ELECTED.
>> IT COULD HAPPEN ANYWHERE AND AND HERE IN THE STATES IT COULD HAPPEN TO >> OUR STORY IS UNIQUELY OURS WITH MANY PAGES MISSING.
THAT DISTINCTION IS ONE WE KNOW WE SHARE WITH OTHER SURVIVOR FAMILIES.
I'VE BEEN TO ISRAEL MANY TIMES AND I NEVER STOP PICTURING THE MOMENT WHEN I FIND A RELATIVE OR NEIGHBOR WHO KNEW MY DAD OR HIS FAMILY.
WHEN I STAND NEXT TO OTHER VISITORS TO THE WASHINGTON HOLOCAUST MEMORIAL I LOOK TO SEE IF I CAN DETECT RESEMBLANCE BETWEEN US.
I WONDER IF EVERYONE THERE IS LOOKING AT THE EXHIBITS LIKE I DO TRYING TO SEE IF I SEE MY EYES, THE SHAPE OF MY NOSE OR MY CHIN IN THE FACES IN THE PHOTOS.
AM I WHO I AM >> BECAUSE I AM A JEWISH SECOND GENERATION HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR?
I DON'T KNOW THAT I WILL EVER ANSWER THE QUESTION TO MY OWN SATISFACTION.
I WONDER WHAT MY GRANDSONS BORN TO NON-JEWISH MOTHERS WILL SAY ABOUT ME WHEN THEY ARE GROWN.
THE MISSING PAGES OF OUR FAMILY STORY ARE GONE FOREVER.
THE GENE MUTATES .
LIFE.
>> LIFE DEFIANTLY >> GOES ON.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE BEEN JEWISH.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE LOST PERSONAL FAMILY MEMBERS TO BE CONNECTED TO WHAT THAT >> EPISODE MEANT TO HUMANITY AND NOW IT'S.
IT COULDN'T BE MORE CLEAR THAT THESE STORIES NEED TO BE TOLD.
AND IT'S NOT ABOUT PITY OR BEING AN ALARMIST, YOU KNOW OR BUT IT IS A WARNING.
WE HAVE TO REMEMBER THESE STORIES.
WE HAVE TO TELL THEM BECAUSE IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN.
BUT 25 YEARS AFTER THE WAR WAS OVER HE WENT BACK AND HE WENT BACK TO THE CONCENTRATION CAMP WHERE HE WAS AND HE TOLD ME HE WAS SO APPALLED BECAUSE IT WAS JUST A FLAT FARMER'S FIELD.
THERE WASN'T EVEN A SIGN THERE.
IT WAS A SMALLER WITH THEM.
ONE OF THE ONES LIKE AUSCHWITZ OR ONE OF THE MORE WELL-KNOWN ONES IT WAS A IT WAS IN AUSTRIA WAS CALLED SHACK HAHNDORF AND IT WAS A LABOR CAMP BUT MANY PEOPLE WERE BURIED THERE.
EVERYTHING WAS JUST RAZED TO THE GROUND.
HE FELT VERY INVALIDATED BY JUST HAVING A FARMER'S FIELD.
THE ATROCITY IS SO BEYOND COMPREHENSION THAT I DON'T KNOW HOW WE CAN GRASP >> IT TO STOP IT HAPPENING AGAIN.
THROUGHOUT MY LIFE MY FATHER ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT THE FACT THAT PEOPLE COULD HAVE STOPPED IT IF HAD SIMPLY REFUSED TO PARTICIPATE AND AND HAD OPPOSED IT EARLY ON.
I THINK EVERYBODY NEEDS TO LEARN TO SPEAK UP WHEN THINGS ARE NOT RIGHT.
DON'T JUST LET IT HAPPEN.
NOBODY WOULD EVER WANT TO GO THROUGH THE HOLOCAUST BUT BEING A SURVIVOR IN MANY WAYS I FEEL HAS BEEN A BLESSING.
I LEARNED TO VALUE THINGS IN LIFE THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE TAKE FOR GRANTED.
IT HAS BROUGHT ME CLOSER TO MY JEWISH PEOPLE AND GIVEN ME DEPTH OF UNDERSTANDING.
I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE HAD HAD MY FATHER NOT BEEN A SURVIVOR AND ME BEING A SECOND GENERATION SURVIVOR.
I REALLY DIDN'T GROW UP DEFINING MYSELF IN THE TERMS OF BEING A SECOND GENERATION HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR.
BUT NOW AS AN ADULT LOOKING BACK I DO SEE IT VERY MUCH AS PART OF MY FABRIC.
WE LIVED WITH TWO SURVIVORS.
I ALWAYS THOUGHT THEY WERE INCREDIBLY WELL-ADJUSTED IN SPITE OF EVERYTHING.
VERY UPLIFTING, POSITIVE PEOPLE WERE THEIR LEGACY AND IT'S NOT OUR JOB TO CONTINUE THEIR LEGACY, TO CONTINUE TO TELL THE STORY.
WE WERE ABLE TO SEE MY FATHER WORK HARD AND YOU KNOW, MAKE SOMETHING OF HIS LIFE, FOLLOW HIS DREAMS AND ENCOURAGED US TO TO DO THAT AS WELL.
I HAD A PRIDE FOR MY PARENTS BECAUSE THEY ESCAPED AND THEY LIVED.
MY PARENTS WERE A BLESSING TO ME.
EVEN WITH ALL THE GARBAGE THAT HAPPENED THEY WERE STILL A BLESSING TO IT.
I FEEL IT IS A RESPONSIBILITY TO SHARE THESE STORIES THAT HAPPEN AND ALSO TO LISTEN TO THE SURVIVORS THAT ARE STILL ALIVE TODAY.
I WANT THE STORIES TO BE TOLD NOT SO PEOPLE WILL FEEL SORRY BUT WILL APPRECIATE JUST WHAT IT TOOK TO SURVIVE AND TO PROSPER.
AND I THINK THAT'S A REMARKABLE ACCOMPLISHMENT AND IT GIVES ME HOPE THAT OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED THOSE KINDS OF GENOCIDAL TREATMENTS CAN ALSO ACHIEVE LIFE AND WE SHOULD CELEBRATE WHAT THEY MANAGED TO DO AND APPRECIATE THE STRENGTHS THAT THEY CONVEYED TO US .
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